mute button for life

This was written a long time ago, but I never managed to post it:

Walking to and from class with my iPod playing has become one of the things I enjoy most. Closed off from everything and everyone around me; like one big mute button. It's a nice feeling. You don't have to worry about what to do, or what to say. I just think about my life and how I can make it better. I find myself constantly floating off into a place other than where I live. With less people and less drama. Just the few people that really matter in my life to keep me company. There's a Dr. Seuss quote posted in the hall:

'Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

It's so true. Those who really care love you as who you are, not who your supposed to be. How can you tell who really cares though? Everyone says they're your friend. But if it comes down to it, are you really the person they want to be around? I learned recently who my real friends are, who really cares (for the most part anyways) and I was suprized. I found people who cared that I had overlooked in the past. It feels good to be loved.

I've com to realize that much of what people do and say are just plots to become more popular. Guys essentially act like douchebags because they get laughs. I see girls all the time call other girls/guys sluts, and then turn around and make out with someone they just met, because it makes them feel better about themselves. The fact of the matter is that 90% of the world's population is self-conscious. The most cocky people are most often the most insecure and they try their hardest to get people to like them. They surround themselves with people that treat them like crap, but at least they aren't alone. Can you imagine a world where people didn't care how popular they were, or what other people think of them? Don't get me wrong, you gotta care somewhat people think of you. Otherwise we'd all end up as smelly blobs that sit on the couch all day eating our weight in cheese puffs. But what if everyone stopped looking at who people seem to be and really got to know people for who they are. How much better would the world be?

Some days I just can't comprehend how life can be so hard. But then I look at the world and the people around me and I realize that my problems are trivial. Sure my car is a sinking money pot, my laptop is broken and I don't get enough sleep. But that's nothing compared to the real world problems some people face every day. If I feel so stressed with my little problems, how do those people with real problems get through each day?

As my friend Cat always says, 'Sometimes lifes hard, for no reason at all...'