whatever

Recently I seem to have been pissing off a lot of people. Mainly i think most of it is the 'fuck you' attitude i have put upon myself. I see myself hurting a lot of people close to me and damaging really good relationships. I started think about this today while I was supposed to be studying and I've come to realize, I don't care. I'm tired of always worrying about what other people are thinking or if i'm being mean to someone. My entire life i've worked so hard to try and be nice to everyone and i'm tired of it. Seriously, where has it gotten me? I've got one or two close friends and a bunch of people that 'think i'm nice' but could care less to hang out with me or get to know me. Why waste my time trying to be nice to people when the only time they ever come to me is when they have a problem or have yet another computer problem. I started weeding out my buddy list on aim to get rid of all the people that only IM me when they a) have a personal problem and want to complain, b) want to ask me a question or c) broke their computer once again. I found myself adding more and more people into the 'meh' category I made. Only a few close highschool friends and other random people remain.

Does this mean that i'm disliked? Do they find me annoying? Or am I just that average that I get overlooked. It's coming close to the end of the year and I'm starting to get this 'I could care less' attitude about me. I mean, 90% of the people I met this year I'll never see again. Everyone is moving to other spots on campus or different schools altogether and I'll never see them again. One more person on the other side of world that doesn't care to talk me without an alterior motive. Whatever, i can sit out one more week of school. Then i guess i can start new. New people, new relationships and new rejections.

... maybe i can get some studying done now.